Sexism: Not Okay In Real Life, But Okay In TV Show

As a person who is obsessed with Game of Thrones and can’t wait for the next season, it is defeating to see the sexist and misogynistic views in which the show portrays women. From the way Daenerys comes to terms with her inner power and her inner dragon to the way that she changes the great Khal Drogo, the series sexualizes women and tries to play it off in a positive light. Many people view the show as empowering women because it emphasizes the strength and courage that is possessed by Daenerys and paints her in a positively powerful light. However, they fail to acknowledge the way she came to recognize that strength and the way in which she came to terms with her power. In Game of Thrones, Daenerys realizes her true power only after marrying an important and powerful man. She learns to stand up to her brother only after she realizes that her brother can no longer hurt her because she has Khal Drogo’s bloodriders to protect her. It is only after this that she learns to embrace her status as a Queen and the power that comes with being the “dragon.” Although later in the series Daenerys gains more strength and power on her own, after the death of Khal Drogo, the book originally portrays the strong Daenerys rising as a result of her marriage to Khal Drogo.  

Another instance is when Daenerys changes the feelings of the all mighty Khal Drogo through the power of sex. The series illustrates Daenerys using sex as a tool to make Khal Drogo less “animal-like” and more civilized towards her. At first he only takes her from the back, more in the show than the book, however, once Dany learns how to properly please a man she makes him have sex with her face to face. Why does Dany have to use sex in order to obtain respect from Khal Drogo, her husband? And why is that quickly overlooked by most of the people who watch GoT?  

More upsetting than these instances of sexism and misogyny are the ways in which the series has tried to downplay them and use them to further the plot. The scene in the show/book where Dany forces Drogo to have sex face to face is meant to show the change in their relationship; it is the moment when Dany manages to soften the Khal Drogo and change his ways. However, it is overlooked because it was common back in the time period from which the series is influenced. Many people say it is okay because it is just part of the world that the is created within the series by George R. R. Martin. But this does not make it okay. Why is it okay to be sexist within a fantasy world in a TV show, movie, or book, when it is not okay in real life?  

Ah yes, double standards. Would you like a side of misogyny with that?

In many societies, including today’s, there has been a habit of exaggerating the female features so much that they appear masculine in many tales, such as the Amazon women. So masculine, in fact, that they make the men seem less masculine in comparison. Somehow this situation insults the women for being masculine. While the men are praised for such a thing, it glosses over how the men have become feminine even when that would normally be considered an insult. How have the creators of these tales managed to get away with this? By perpetuating double standards in almost every form.

Sir John Mandeville gives an account of such a situation in his published travels where there is an abundance of men being glorified for their pure state and a great focus on women being called ugly, as if their looks are all that matter. He refers to a culture in Chaldea where the men are “very handsome… [and] well dressed in cloth of gold and precious stones,” which is usually indicative of female clothing or qualities. Sir John then proceeds to state that the women are “ugly and ill-dressed and they go barefoot.” They also “are very swarthy and ugly to look at and of evil behavior.” The area he speaks of may have established their gender roles differently, or they could have been normal people he misrepresented because he saw them as he wanted to see them. If the latter was the truth, then double standards are being enforced here. It would appear that he believes it is completely fine for men to be dainty and beautiful and take on traditionally female traits, but abhorrent for women to be anything other than beautiful. These standards become clearer in his tale of the Amazons.

While this is the most conservative version of the
Amazons I could find, they just had to make
the black woman the only one not fully clothed.

The Land of Women, where the Amazons reside, means just what the name implies; there are no men there. This is not because they have died out or left of their own accord, but because the Amazons have killed them and driven them off in war. Warrior women sound like strong and powerful women, but when they are described by Sir John, the reader gets the feeling that they are not as womanly as previously thought. According to Sir John, the women must become more masculine to be able to be in what is traditionally a man’s position by cutting off a breast so they can use a bow and arrow properly or carry a shield more easily. Seeing as breasts do not logically hinder a woman in either of these ways, we see a repetition of the idea that masculine is right and anything else is bad.

This idea has been perpetuated into today’s culture. Many women buy into this belief due to the fact that they have been repeatedly exposed to it. Men that advocate for women most likely don’t realize it either for that same reason. Misogyny and double standards definitely exist even when we don’t realize it.